The Making of Friends

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THE MAKING OF FRIENDS
by Edgar A Guest

If nobody smiled and nobody cheered
and nobody helped us along;
if each, every minute, looked after himself
and good things all went to the strong;
if nobody cared just a little for you
and nobody thought about me,
and we stood all alone in the battle of life—
what a dreary old world it would be!

If there were no such thing as a flag in the sky
as a symbol of comradeship here;
if we lived as the animal live in the woods,
with nothing held sacred or dear
and selfishness ruled us from birth to the end
and never a neighbor had we,
and never we gave to another in need—
what a dreary old world it would be!

Oh, if we were rich as the richest on earth,
and strong as the strongest that lives,
yet never we knew the delight and the charm
of the smile which the other man gives;
if kindness were never a part of ourselves,
though we owned all the land we could see,
and friendship meant nothing at all to us here—
what a dreary old world it would be!

Life is sweet just because of the friends we have made
and the things which in common we share;
we want to live on not because of ourselves,
but because of the people who care.
It’s giving and doing for somebody else—
on that all life’s splendor depends—
and the joy of this world, when you’ve summed it all up,
is found in the making of friends.

From his book, Collected Verse of Edgar A Guest
© 1934 by The Reilly & Lee Company

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Argot

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An ARGOT is a special word or expression used by a particular group or field of work. Like the argot of accountants and artists, hippies and hockey players.

Synonyms:
dialect, jargon, language, lingo, shoptalk, slang, terminology, vocabulary

This word entered English in the 1800s from French, but the origin is uncertain.

The following story gives you a sample of the argot of quilt-makers — a jargon I have spoken quite much over the years. 🙂

One day, after seeing a beautiful quilt her mother-in-law had pieced, Marnie decided this might be a good hobby for her, too. She asked her mother-in-law if she could go along to the next meeting of the “Scraps & Needles” group.

The hostess handed around cups of tea or coffee and set out a tray of snacks, then the ladies started chattering about their latest projects.

“I’ve decided at long last to attempt a bargello,” said one.

“Oh, good for you.”

Marnie nudged her mother-in-law. “Jello?”

Mom shook her head. “Bargello. A type of quilt,” she whispered back.

“I’m sticking with traditional. Following a Drunkard’s Path,” said Betty.

“I’m working on my Kansas Troubles,” Nancy declared.

“Did you live in Kansas,” Marie asked.

Everybody laughed and Marnie blushed.

Then Mrs Tanner spoke. “Well, I’m plowing into a Straight Furrow,” and all the ladies except Marnie chuckled.

“If any of you has a mid-green to spare, I need some for my Irish Chain.”

“Oh, you’re in luck. I have three fat quarters that might work. Picked them up at The Calico Closet three months ago and haven’t found a place for them yet.”

“I inherited a Storm at Sea from Grandma,” Iris informed them, “and I’d really like to duplicate it in brown and tan scraps.” The other ladies all nodded.

“I’ve two ecru quarters left over from my Monkey Wrench, if that’ll help you,” Marnie’s mother-in-law offered.

It all must mean something, Marnie decided, but this argot is bewildering. I’ll have to have a long talk with Mom before the next meeting.

Charcuterie

Googling for something yesterday I came upon an article about making a “charcuterie board.” Having learned French, the word CHARCUTERIE was familiar, having to do with cold meats. So I wanted to learn more about the artistic food creation this writer was describing.

Image by Ivneon at Pixabay

Merriam-Webster defines charcuterie as:
— a delicatessen specializing in dressed meats and meat dishes
— the products sold in such a shop

Lexico defines it as cold cooked meats, and gives the following example of its use in an article:
“One page of the menu is devoted to cheeses (domestic and imported), another to charcuterie, salads, meat and fish, the third to items from the wood-burning oven.”

And I learned from the article that a charcuterie board is a display of meats, cheeses, spreads, bread, olives, dried fruit, and nuts all arranged on a wood plank. Each of the diners at the table gets their own small knife so they can chop off a chuck of cheese and otherwise help themselves to the goodies.

Lambast(e)

We carry the weight of many regrets: we should have called that aging parent more often; visited that relative in hospital; been more patient with our family; really listened to the friend who wanted to pour out her heart in a phone call. We berate ourselves for not caring enough for the homeless, our neighbors, those we work with, for not showing more love to our family members.

Yes, we may at times criticize others for their faults, but it’s usually ourselves that we lambaste the most. Probably because we know ALL our faults — and the total extent of them. We hope and pray friends and acquaintances only see the tips of our icebergs, but we feel the tonnage.

According to Lexico, to LAMBAST or LAMBASTE someone is to attack that person verbally with harsh criticism.

The press has been lambasting President Trump for his statements — or lack of statements, and his action — or lack of action — to the COVID-19 threat.

Merriam-Webster says the word can also be used to describe a violent assault or a whipping. Synonyms of lambaste: pummel, thrash, and pound.

An argument in a bar one night led to a life-threatening lambasting an hour later. The assailant left, still in a rage, and waited for his adversary outside. A few minutes after the other party left the bar he was knocked unconscious, then battered mercilessly. The young man is now in critical condition at General Hospital.

The origins of lambaste are somewhat uncertain, but the word was most likely formed by combining the verbs lam and baste, both of which mean “to beat severely.”
The word LAM, meaning hit hard; strike, is assumed to be Scandinavian origin, related to Norwegian and Danish lamme, meaning ‘paralyse’.

Love

I want to share a poem about LOVELINESS soon; of course the root word here is LOVE, and I got curious about the origins of this word we hear so often.

Everyone has a pretty good idea what the word LOVE means, though some people use it to season their discussions the way diners use pepper as a seasoning on food. I heard about a young woman getting a gentle reproof about this one day:
A young wife was talking to friends some item she liked, and enthusiastically gushed, “I just love it!”
An old grandma was among those listening and responded with some wise words: “Don’t love things. Love something that can love you back.”

And folks really get off course when they call it LOVE when it’s really infatuation or obsession:
A divorced and bitter woman, legally restrained from viciously stalking her ex and his new wife, sought the help of a psychiatrist. Explaining her obsession, she wailed, “But I love him! I can’t live without him.”
The psychiatrist bluntly replied, “That’s not love. That’s being a parasite.”

Love is one of the simplest and oldest in our English language. According to both dictionaries LOVE goes way…way…back — to the old English lufu, akin to the Old German luba. And this comes down, according to Lexico, “from an Indo-European root shared by Sanskrit: lubhyati, or “desires.”

Like ourselves, it has descended from the peoples who spread out after the biblical Tower of Babel episode. Perhaps, as the old grandma suggested, we should handle it more respectfully.

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